Bonald Mancuso
Bonald Mancuso '''(formerly known as Old-time Hippie Mancuso) '''is a night-train-rider, a former hippie and one of the few Earth-beings to emerge from The Formative Heap. He considers himself pretty good, although this is debatable. It is notable that he is neither living nor dead, which allows him to survive in many places most humans can't, such as underwater caves. Early life Bonald Mancuso was born in approximately 1902 out of The Formative Heap, while on its Summertime Roadshow through Appalachia. It's often said he was born with "a fork in his hand and a mind full of agricultural plans", although this has not been proven. As a child, he was mutilating salamanders out in the mountain heat when he was distracted by the smell of ozone. When he looked yonder, he caught a good, solid glimpse of The Head of Pagan Foolishness. Overcome with euphoria, he ran back to his house to tell his 17 siblings about the deity only to find that they had been impaled on an oversized steak knife. Not much else is known about Mancuso before his infamous career as a hippie. Career as a hippie In the late 1950s, Mancuso began referring to himself as a "hippie", eventually going as far as having people refer to him as Old-time Hippie Mancuso. During this period, he would tour midwestern America in a ramshackle tomato truck he had constructed himself out of sheer willpower, usually stopping in areas of poverty to educate the people about his brief childhood encounter with The Head of Pagan Foolishness and a new religion he had created called Shitgaze. After 10 years of constant touring, the Shitgaze religion began to gain a significant following throughout America, with an ever-growing herd of "hippie" followers accompanying Mancuso at all times. In 1968, he chanced upon The Orange Jelma, a bartender with a strong spiritual connection to the planet Jupiter. To promote the practice of Shitgaze, the two began to write music together as The Indigenous People of Peru, whose massive discography has had a significant impact on American culture. The Indigenous People of Peru continue to perform to this day, alongside side projects such as Jim Crumble, BNGFKR and Firs by Lennie. Efforts to restore Hoboken In the mid-1980s, an unknown force lifted Mancuso off the ground, carried him through the sky and planted him in Hoboken, NJ, effectively ending his career as a hippie. Mancuso was extremely displeased by the quality of life in Hoboken, and figured that the solution would be to build a life-size replica of the city right next to it. Construction of Hoboken II occurred until 2004, when the thousands of oversized insects Mancuso had employed gave up on constantly updating it to be identical to the original Hoboken. Since then, Hoboken II has become a hotspot for crime, violence, and the selling of illegal street drugs such as eggs. dingodog.webs.com Excluding live music performances, Bonald Mancuso now rarely makes public appearances, preferring instead to communicate through his website, dingodog.webs.com. It is notable that dingodog.webs.com was constructed entirely with Industrial Revolution-era equipment, which is the reason for its primitive appearance. The website has gained much praise, the planet Jupiter himself even calling it "p gud". Category:Beings Category:Shitgazers Category:Musicians